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Jo and David's

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Lexicon of Swinging Terms

Frequent Questions

Lexicon of Swinging Terms

Lexicon of Swinging Terms

The language used in the Swinging, BDSM and Fetish lifestyles is constantly changing and evolving.

We have created a list with over a hundred terms on our swingers site "Dirty-Davids Swinging Contacts", below we have listed some of the most used as a starter lesson for newbies.


Someone who experiences little or no sexual attraction to other people.


BDSM is an abbreviation or acronym for (BD) Bondage and Discipline, (Ds) Dominance and Submission, (SM) Sadism and Masochism

Bare Back

To have sex without using a condom or femidom.


A large, bearded gay man.


A person who is curious about having sex with a person of the same sex.

Bisexual - Versatile - Open

A person who is attracted to males, females and transsexuals.


A (sexual) fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating (sexual) partner.
The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."
"Bondage" means binding the partner by tying their appendages together; for example, by the use of handcuffs or ropes, or by lashing their arms to an object.
Bondage can also be achieved by spreading the appendages and fastening them with chains or ropes to a St. Andrew's cross or spreader bars.


The lover of a Hotwife - In the past they were often used to impregnate the hotwife.


The sex assigned to a person at birth.


The sperm left in or on a woman (or occasionally man).

CD - Cross Dresser or TV - Transvestite

A person who enjoys dressing up as a member of the opposite sex.

Cuckold (21st Century)

A man who enjoys his wife having sex with other men, sometimes watching, othertimes the wife goes on dates with other men.

Cuddly - Fluffy - BBW/BBM - Voluptuous

A person who carries some padding on their bones.


Demisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by only experiencing sexual attraction after making a strong emotional connection with a specific person.

A demisexual identity is a useful indicator for where a person might fall on the asexual spectrum.

ENM - Ethical Non-Monogamy

The practice of taking part in romantic relationships that are not completely exclusive between two people.


A person who likes to show off their naked body, or to be watched while having sex or masturbating.


A Fetish is sexual excitement in response to an object or body part that’s not typically or always sexual.

Gay - Lesbian - Homosexual

A person attracted to people of their own sex.

Gender Fluid

A state of fluctuating, or shifting, between various genders, depending on a person’s internal state. Genderfluid individuals may or may not change their gender expression, pronouns, and/or name due to shifts in their gender identity. Genderfluid individuals’ expression of their identities may be context-sensitive and/or based on preferences/feelings.

Visit the website https://translifeline.org for more detailed information about Trans terminology.

Greedy Girl

A girl/woman who enjoys having multiple partners on the same day/evening.

Our Greedy Girl parties cater for these ladies.

Greedy Girls may be bi, straight or lesbian.

Group Sex - Orgy

A group of people all having sex with each other in the same room.


A straight person who is not offended or upset by being touched by someone of the same sex.

Heteroflexibility is a subcategory of bisexuality. If you're heteroflexible, you're primarily straight but are open to sex with people of the same sex. If you're bisexual, you're attracted to both men and women.

How to Know If You Are Heteroflexible

Like other terms that describe sexual identities, the meaning of heteroflexibility is subjective: It might mean something different to you than it does to another person. Generally, you might be heteroflexible if:

  • You're straight but have enjoyed being with someone of the same sex.
  • You prefer the opposite sex, but you've felt attracted to people of the same sex on a few occasions.
  • You know (or suspect) you're not 100% straight, but "queer" and "bisexual" don't seem to fit your orientation exactly.
  • You'd be with someone of the same sex only in certain situations.
  • You prefer the opposite sex, but you like to experiment with people of the same sex.
  • You're satisfied with your orientation but are curious.
  • Being with someone of the same sex is on your bucket list, but you're content with someone of the opposite sex.

Heterosexual - Straight

A person who is attracted to people of the opposite sex.

Hotwife / Vixen

The wife of a cuckold or stag, she has sex with other men, usually with his consent, then tells him about the date afterwards.

HWP - Height, Weight Proportional

A person who is neither overweight or underweight.


Masochism is the enjoyment of pain.

Master / Mistress / Dominant / Dominatrix

A "Dominant" person who controls the actions of another for joint enjoyment.

Non Binary

It’s important to note that “non-binary” is an umbrella term that refers to A LOT of very different gender identities. But generally speaking, nb folks don’t feel like their genders can be easily described as that of a man or a woman—in fact, some nb folks don’t identify with any gender at all

Visit the website https://translifeline.org for more detailed information about Trans terminology.


Omnisexual refers to someone who is romantically, emotionally, or sexually attracted to persons of all genders and orientations. The term is often used interchangeably with pansexual.

Open Relationship

Couples in a relationship who are happy to let their partners have sex with other people.


Pansexual refers to the sexual orientation of someone who is romantically, emotionally, or sexually attracted to people of any gender identity, gender, or biological sex.

Some pansexual people say that, when it comes to attraction, they don’t see gender or they find it irrelevant. That’s what distinguishes pansexuality from omnisexuality or bisexuality.

PAWG - Phat Ass White Girl.

In this context, phat is an alternative slang spelling for fat. A pawg is a woman who has a big—though it’s not necessarily fat—butt.


Having sex at a swingers hookup or party.


A polysexual person is someone who is sexually and/or romantically attracted to multiple genders. It is not the same as being bisexual or pansexual, although all of these sexualities involve being attracted to more than one gender. It also is not the same as being polyamorous.


Sadism is the enjoyment of inflicting pain on others.


By definition, sapiosexual means that someone finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing. It means that intelligence is often the first quality a person notices in a potential partner.


Someone who is skoliosexual is sexually attracted to people who identify with a nonbinary gender.


A man who enjoys and encourages his wife to have sex with other men, sometimes watching, othertimes the wife goes on dates with other men.

Submissive - Passive

A person who allows another to control their actions.

Swingers Social - Munch - Meet and Greet

A social event for couples and singles interested in learning about the swinging lifestyle.
There are also events for people interested in the BDSM and Fetish lifestyles, some events cater for swingers and kinksters.
These events are held in "No Pressure" environments so that people can ask questions without thinking they may have to get involved.


Social sexual activity between consenting adults. It is mainly a couple oriented activity but single men and women are often involved.

TS - Transsexual

A person who is in the process of transitioning from one sex to another.


A person who likes to watch other people having sex.

Well Endowed

A man with a large penis. The average penis is up to 6" long and 5" in girth when erect, Well endowed is a penis bigger that that.

As we said at the top of the page, the terminology is constantly changing and evolving. If you think we need to expand on a term or redefine a term drop us a note telling us what we have wrong or what needs to be changed or added.

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